| Summary: | Ann Vernon works with a woman who is trying to decide whether to divorce her husband after many years of putting up with behavior that she describes as selfish, impulsive, and disregarding of family needs. She has learned to voice her concerns but has developed a pattern of "giving in," which leads to an absence of consequences and her feeling of being a "pushover." The marriage has been strained by her husband's infidelity, which occured two years ago, and by repeated financial setbacks, including evictions that have forced the family to move in first with the woman's sister and then with her mother. The woman is presently working two jobs, finishing her BA degree, and caring for two children. Her husband is self-employed and helps with family duties. In this session, Vernon introduces REBT by saying it focuses on where feelings come from and how their intensity can be regulated. The client describes her frustration with her husband's behavior, who has recently bought a motorcycle against her wishes. Vernon helps her explore her anger and shows how it is related to absolutist thoughts about how things "should" be, suggesting that a change in those thoughts might help reduce her anger and be more assertive. The client describes her pattern of taking steps to get out of the marriage, then backing down out of concern for hurting her husband. Vernon stresses that her husband is in charge of his thoughts and feelings. As homework, she asks the client to make a list of pros and cons for staying in or leaving the marriage.
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